My Special Brother Dani

There were a lot of things that were hard about it. It was awful to have my parents so occupied with Dani, it was awful when he was in the hospital for ages, it was awful when I needed to go to Aunt Rivky every day after school, and it was awful when no one was around for me to talk to about the science fair or the baseball game.

I hated how Dani and his machines took over our house. I hated that he had tubes coming out of his stomach and out of his nose. I hated the incessant beeping and I hated the stern doctor who came to check Dani at home and always ended up calling an ambulance. I hated watching Dani having a seizure. But the thing I hated the very most was watching my mother take care of Dani and hurt him so much while she did so. Sometimes, when she used the suction machine or when she replaced the oxygen tubes, she cried more than he did. Dani screamed and writhed and I hated, hated, hated watching him suffer.

One day I came home from school and pushed open the door. I was hot and tired and sweaty. I also wanted to ask my mother if I could go to Aharon’s house to work on the mishnayos project. But my mother wasn’t around, and the house was quiet. No monotonous beeping or shrill alarms reached my ears. My heart started beating faster. Dani had felt fine that morning. I held him while my mother helped my little sisters get ready for school, and he smiled at me with those big round eyes as I gently sang to him, the whoosh of the oxygen concentrator the continuous background music to my vocals.

Tatty came to greet me. Just by looking at his shoulders I could see how sad he was feeling. They were slumped and looked almost like they were too heavy for him to hold up. “Dani?” I whispered.