I’ve lost patience because I’ve allowed the Internet to become a central feature in my life. There, I said it. It’s awful, I know,
EMPTY BROADCAST I search for the false sense of connection felt from witnessing others broadcast their thoughts and experiences to the world. That connection isn’t real. There is no vulnerability or courage required communications are edited and measured no patience is engaged in truly hearing and understanding another person.
T
he changes came slowly imperceptibly. Until suddenly I realized that I was often more connected to a screen than to my family.
Something had to change
I think I lost my patience. Not in the sense of a onetime angry outburst but in a slow process I wasn’t fully aware of until it was too late. Like a sunset that looks beautiful until you realize you’re sitting in the dark.
I once had patience. I had patience while sitting through endless hours of difficult classes to get my degree. I had patience when I followed a diet plan that prohibited eating between meals. I had patience when I couldn’t avoid dealing with very difficult people; somehow I remained composed and didn’t respond in anger and frustration. I had patience when rocking my babies back to sleep in the sleepy predawn darkness. I have been patient while waiting for my prayers to be answered. I remember all that but lately something has changed.
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