AHuman beings are so complex! We like to reduce that complexity to manageable size — something we can handle — so we put people into little categories. This one is stingy this one is a go-getter that one is a good-for-nothing. Doing this quick reduction gives us the feeling that we now understand. We know what makes this person tick. We know the type.
We do this with children as well as adults. This one is a troublemaker. This one is lazy. That one is conscientious. Once we’ve got it all figured out we feel a sense of control. “I know how to deal with this kind of child.”
Oh that it were that simple.
Failure to Understand
“My father just doesn’t get it. He pushes me to socialize more. He’s always telling me to call a friend make a plan. He just won’t accept that I like to stay at home and do my own thing.”
Orit is socially anxious. Being with people is very hard work for her. At 16 she still keeps mostly to herself. Her father thinks she just needs encouragement. “Moping around the house is the worst thing for her. I want her to pick up the phone make an arrangement.”
