Are her expectations in shidduchim realistic?,Being “Realistic”,Are her expectations in shidduchim realistic?
M y close friend got divorced and started shidduchim again about a year ago. She’s a very responsible girl whose husband according to her was “a bum.” This time around she’s determined to marry the opposite of her ex — a hardworking boy with a good job. While I understand this desire I’m concerned that she’s ignoring many other important ingredients for a successful marriage — middos stability level of frumkeit etc.
I’ve tried repeatedly to explain to her that whether or not he has a good job will not determine his ability to be a good husband; it’s much more important that he’s a good person and they share values. She says I can’t understand since my husband has a decent job.
I have nothing to gain here; I’m simply concerned about her. I want her to be realistic and not so one-track minded. She recently asked me about a boy and I was very disappointed with the quality of her questions.
To complicate things she has a physical deformity. As much as she’d like boys to treat her as they would a healthy divorce she’s getting hurt by the names being redt.
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