“Is seminary really all about priming future kollel wives?”
I really enjoyed and appreciated the various responses to the mother whose daughter needs to find her footing after a year of seminary. I noticed, however, that almost all the responses implied that the main takeaway from seminary is the primacy of kollel. Am I the only reader who found this slightly disturbing and unrealistic?
In my experience, seminary is about much more than kollel. I don’t mean to downplay kollel here — it is a privilege and a gift for any couple that can make it work, for however long they can make it work. But seminary can and should give a girl ambitions in ruchniyus that will carry her forward regardless of whether her husband finds his life’s calling inside the beis medrash. In fact, it should give her a sense of purpose and identity regardless of her marital status.
When seminaries empower students to build a “Torah home,” or to “devote their lives to Torah,” they surely aren’t limiting that vision to a home where the husband learns three sedorim a day. Our seminary principals and teachers are smart and realistic, and they know that for many students, kollel is a temporary gift. Their vision for a Torah home is broader and deeper than that, and the tools and understandings they give their students surely serve them in the long-term, whether or not they are able to maintain the kollel lifestyle.
I believe that many of our seminaries are succeeding in this mandate, and that is why I was puzzled and confused by the responses in your piece. Is seminary really all about priming future kollel wives?
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