Couples whose marriages have spanned five decades and beyond have much wisdom to share about the process - of building a relationship and growing older together.
“It’s a matter of respect and teamwork. You’ll hit life challenges and if you don’t have respect for your partner the marriage can fall apart. A marriage is a contract. Someone has to give in sometimes or else you’re always at odds and disagreeing with each other. And of course it’s a mazal and brachah to have a healthy spouse and children”
“A long marriage in years doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a happy one. We married at a time when divorce wasn’t common and we didn’t see divorce as a realistic option unless there was no other alternative. So there have been good times and difficult times.
“Since we were both busy with our professions in the early years and I was running the house and had the bulk of the responsibility for the children it was easy to lose track of each other. I made a point of trying to find things that we would enjoy doing together and finding the time to do them. It wasn’t easy but I was successful some of the time.
“For many young couples today where the husband may be in kollel or working and the wife is working as well it’s hard to find ‘together’ time. But it’s crucial. I have a magnet on my refrigerator: Marriages come in kits and you have to put them together. A relationship takes work and needs attention in order to thrive; it doesn’t just happen by itself.”
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