Do you have a few minutes? Let’s have a serious conversation about when to talk out an issue — and how to do it right,Say What?,Do you have a few minutes? Let’s have a serious conversation about when to talk out an issue — and how to do it right
F rom daily chatting to serious DMCs there are an unending amount of reasons you may huddle with your friends and talk. Sometimes you may feel confident but do nuggets of doubt and social fears sometimes hold you back? Do you have a few minutes? Let’s have a serious conversation about when to talk out an issue — and how to do it right.
Expressing: Ouch That Hurt!
The hallmarks of healthy relationships are respect kindness trust warmth and connection. A prerequisite to the start of a relationship is to be positive about people’s actions. The Rambam writes that it’s a great quality for a person to be sensitive not hardened to another’s pain. Here we mean: don’t take things personally!
“You can walk on the street and take an unintentional bump by someone else’s elbow as a personal jab ” says Rebbetzin Nechama Mintz a therapist certified in family and couple counseling. “In short be dan l’chaf zechus. If you always bring everything up with friends you’ll be seen as a pain in the neck. Nobody likes feeling like they need to tiptoe around someone and people find it uncomfortable to constantly have issues thrown in their face.
“Still a relationship requires respect. Everyone needs to feel valued. If there’s something that bothers you and you debate whether you should swallow it and move on or talk to your friend about it you should think How important is the relationship? How big is the misdeed? If you feel it’s worthwhile deal with it. If the conversation ends well you gain an enhanced relationship.”
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