Our Last Chance    

This time of year reminds me of a sh’eilah I received that so inspired me that I often try to reflect on it before Ne’ilah. A woman had been undergoing advanced fertility interventions for years and had reached a round of treatment that was likely to be her final attempt. She was on the verge of success but had entered a very delicate phase of her treatment. Due to her precarious condition, her doctor felt it was imperative that she remain fully hydrated on Yom Kippur and not limit her drinking to small shiurim.

Her husband called to ask the sh’eilah, and I could hear her desperation in the background on the other end of line: “But it’s my last chance! Tell him it’s my last chance!”

My heart was breaking for the unimaginable emotional burden this bas Yisrael was bearing. She so much wanted to do the right thing, and at the same time she was grasping at every straw to keep her most cherished dream from dying. This is not the forum for a halachic discussion of my response, but I am happy to share that she merited cuddling her newborn baby before the next Yom Kippur rolled around.

Those words of desperation, “This is my last chance,” rang in my ears throughout all of Ne’ilah that year, and in almost every year since then. As the proverbial Gates of Heaven are closing, we beseech Hashem in desperation with “shaarei Shamayim p’sach.” This really is our last chance. So how are we to make use of it?