Dealing with “the single years” may be necessary regardless of which path one chooses
I strongly disagree with Mrs. T.S., who wrote that it’s a contradiction to believe that every month a post-sem girl is unmarried is risky, while also maintaining that girls gain from having time after seminary to mature, settle down, and learn greater responsibility. Of course both of these can be true!
A young woman who is single post-seminary is at a very unique stage of life. On the one hand, she may find that time allows her to solidify and practically apply the Torah she learned, so that she is better prepared to be a strong, supportive wife, and an educated mother. At the same time, this tekufah is essentially a transitional period, filled with choices she has never faced before. The question of where she’ll be next year — or even next week — is not as easily answered as it once was, and without some level of stability, she can falter.
It’s also hard to build a supportive social network when your schedule is hectic with work or school or both, and friends are getting married left and right. Not every girl is going home from seminary to an ideal situation, and even those who are may find that home life poses new questions in their post-seminary state. The stresses and influences of school and work can challenge a young woman both emotionally and in her ruchniyus. Outside the stability marriage offers, where a husband will (hopefully) help establish a strong and consistent religious framework, she may feel confused about her priorities and goals.
This does not mean a girl who is struggling comes from a bad home, or that, as Mrs. T.S. suggests, the seminaries do a poor job of chinuch. The reality is that at any stage, a person must be mechazek themselves if they don’t want to fall — but the danger of the single years is so great because very little effort may be put into finding that chizuk.
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