The next stage is to have savlanus with others, except when they are wronging us
INthe last installment, we gained self-awareness about savlanus and learned to appreciate its importance. Savlanus means to be sovel, to carry a burden. We can now begin to apply it to our relationships with others. Hashem has infinite savlanus for the world, and we have to follow His ways, but let’s start with small steps. The next stage is to have savlanus with others, except when they are wronging us.
Again, we use the word kabbalah, which can be understood as “suggestions for those choosing to work with these articles in a practical way.”
Kabbalah I: When we observe someone’s negative middos, we can either feel impatience or we can accept it with savlanus. Let’s try to practice feeling patient. Notice the negative, but don’t let it move you. You may feel an initial response of anger, but don’t let it overtake you. Keep it “at bay.” Find the things you need to tell yourself to keep from becoming flooded by emotion.
Kabbalah II: Some people are patient about the negative middos of others, but they can’t be sovel someone disagreeing with them or not understanding their position. Instead of becoming impatient with others, challenge yourself. Maybe they don’t agree because you are wrong, or because you haven’t explained yourself clearly. Turn inward. Count to ten and try again. And if after trying again and explaining yourself very clearly, they still don’t agree with you, be patient about that, too. Don’t let them move you, no matter what.
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