“Sometimes it seems that people forget that chinuch is an inherently difficult task”
I enjoyed reading Tzippy Goldhar’s honest concerns about sending her youngest off on a bus and the impending conclusion of the homework years. A lot of what she described sounded familiar to me. But I want her to know that a lot of her fears are unfounded. As your kids get older, they may not need you so much in the physical sense — they can get themselves dressed, feed themselves, watch themselves without a babysitter, put themselves to bed (well, maybe not that). But you will find, as they become teenagers and then young adults and hopefully young spouses and parents, that they need you just as much, if not more, than ever. The era of “shared confidences and dreams” won’t be over just because they know how to cook on their own.
Kids need parents. Young parents need their parents. Even young grandmothers need their mothers. For advice, for reassurance, for reality checks. For an honest opinion whether the sheitel, the dress, or the paint color is working. No one else in the world cares the same way and no one else in the world is as invested in a child’s success. There may be a few years when our teenagers forget that, or pretend to forget it, but it never goes away.
So don’t say goodbye to nighttime DMCs with your kids just yet. In just a few years you might find yourself talking your daughter through a complex dating parshah at 2 a.m., or counseling your son through his oldest child’s first ear infection after you thought the day was over, or talking your super-competent married daughter through her own school bus emotions.
Happy parenting!
Blumie R.
“Because choosing this life — as beautiful as it is — rather than being born into it, creates a sense of being slightly ‘other’ that never fully disappears. I’ve had people tell me, ‘You chose this life, so you can’t complain.’ And that hurts.”
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