The Gifts That Keep on Giving

I’m always on the lookout for things to gift. Of course, birthdays deserve a present, and I wouldn’t miss the chance to bring back a “souvenir” from an Israel trip. Sometimes, a visit to the local dollar store will inspire me to pick up some craft or squishy toy for a grandchild.

Is there a downside to my willingness to give out gifts? Is it spoiling children, making a relationship about what they expect to be given? Well, I’m going to have to disagree on this one. Spoiling’s in my contract! I base my actions on what I always fantasized having a grandmother would be like. But there is more to it.

The root of the Hebrew word ahavah is connected to the root hav (hei, veis), meaning “to give, to offer.” On an existential level, it may mean “to give of oneself,” but I think it’s also about connecting to another person. The gifts I give create a stronger bond.

Researchers at the University of Zurich in Switzerland did a study on gifting. They gave 50 people $100 and instructed half of them to spend the money on themselves and the others to spend it on someone else.