Fighting Fear

Which parent hasn’t comforted a child through an avalanche of fearful thoughts, held a trembling, sweaty little one as he imagined horrific car crashes, listened to a teen agonize about her panic of being laughed at by her peers? But how do you know when a normal fear has become a phobia?

According to psychologists, when fears become persistent, inappropriately intense, and lead to avoidance tactics, this should ring alarm bells. For example, if your child consistently perspires, breathes heavily, trembles, feels as if she’s choking, or suffers nausea and dizziness when you pass by a dog or travel in an elevator, chances are she’s suffering from a phobia.

A very young child might become excessively clingy, vomit, or tantrum to show his distress. In general, a fear that causes intense suffering and negatively impacts a child’s quality of life is probably a phobia.

Thankfully, phobias are highly treatable. Mrs. Nicole Sher, a Manchester-based Chartered Educational Psychologist and former principal with 20 years of experience working in schools as well as in private practice, says that the fact that sufferers are usually aware of their difficulty makes diagnosis far easier. However, because avoiding the source of their fear is the most common knee-jerk reaction for a phobic child — a child who is terrified that the rebbi will call on him to read may take strategic bathroom breaks, a child with a fear of carnivals may develop a stomachache on carnival day — this can sometimes prevent parents from noticing a problem in the first place. Additionally, a child may be reluctant to get treatment, because he doesn’t want to face his fears.