The Rebbetzin’s Perspective: A Schmooze with Rebbetzin Temi Kamenetsky

“Her Ruchniyus Matters”

The woman is the akeres habayis. Her ruchniyus infuses the children and the home — it’s vital that she takes time to learn. When I was growing up, my parents lived in Boro Park; they moved to Williamsburg so that I could learn in the Bais Yaakov there — that’s how important it was for them that I grow in my ruchniyus and receive a proper education.

Even when women are married, they must keep up their learning — a learning group or a chavrusa are ideal. The sefer I recommend is Positive Word Power (ArtScroll/Mesorah Publications), based on Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book The Power of Words. It deals with the halachos of onaas devarim (hurting people through words), and I believe that if we knew the halachos, the whole world would be different. Baruch Hashem, we’ve reached a stage in which children know about shmiras halashon. They learn it from when they’re young and, yes, though sometimes it’s a struggle, it becomes second nature. If we learned at a young age about the impact of our words, and how we must be sensitive to other people’s feelings, this, too, would become second nature.

The Family Speaks:

— My mother is a firm believer that all women should be educated. She was home with us when we were younger, but when we were older, she started teaching in the high school. She gives shiurim — I grew up with women coming to the house all the time. There was no kiruv in those days. Still, my mother taught, and women were thirsty and kept coming back for more.

— My mother-in-law constantly quotes the Pele Yoetz and the Rambam. She loves grammar, and when we sit at the Shabbos table, she’s always asking, “So why is the pasuk phrased this way?” She always has a dvar Torah on her fingertips.