When parents are afraid to stand up to their children the children end up raising themselves
Some parents are too nice for their own good. They are “soft” by nature — soft-spoken soft–mannered and soft-hearted. They’re kind and generous forgiving and forbearing. They’re far from controlling — so far in fact — that they may be the ones who end up being controlled. These parents may be perfectly delightful people. They may make wonderful friends great siblings and doting children and they are usually pleasant (albeit vulnerable) spouses. What they are not however are good parents.
Balanced Parents
Good parents balance kindness with authority. The kindness is a gift of the heart the essential quality of love that nurtures and sustains the developing child. Insufficient affection leaves children stunted and distorted. The child of the “nice” parent rarely suffers this consequence. On the contrary this child may have an overdose of self-esteem sometimes bordering on narcissistic grandiosity.
When kindness is not balanced with authority children get the wrong idea. They learn that their desire can always be fulfilled as long as they use their special tools and strategies: a smile a whine a brilliant argument an endless whine or a tantrum — whatever works. They know that their “nice” parent will eventually capitulate; they learn that they call the shots.
Create a free account to keep reading.
