In Part I we discussed how Hashem built certain laws into the universe on natural societal and spiritual levels. The institution of marriage is also founded on certain principles and we need to play by those rules for marriage to thrive. In marriage every situation presents an opportunity to increase the connection and unity of the couple. Can that which is lacking in our spouse also bring us to the goal of oneness?
Marriage is Hard Work
“Bikeish Yaakov leisheiv b’shalvah — Yaakov wanted to live in tranquility.” After all the tribulations in Yaakov Avinu’s life he said “Maybe now I can find serenity.” Yet Yaakov’s request went unfulfilled. The work in this world is ongoing and as our Sages teach the work is great and the time is short.
We’re reluctant to apply this concept to relationships especially marriage. We think that the hard part is getting married and if we daven hard work hard and are smart enough to pick the right person then the challenges will consist of getting ready for Yom Tov on time and figuring out where to send the kids to school.
But then we find that this is not the case and we wonder if we are alone in our struggle. While there is comfort in knowing that our friends and neighbors also have their work cut out for them it is even more helpful to know that the struggle itself is meaningful. Since the goal of our efforts is achdus oneness the work we do to fit together the pieces of ourselves with those of our spouse in an effort to create shleimus wholeness is the work of becoming who we are meant to be in this world — our most meaningful task.
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