Top 5 Scholar-in-Residence Considerations

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he clocks have moved back, and in shuls across the country, booklets are being mailed out, posters are being hung in lobbies, and people are anxiously awaiting how the promise of “light refreshments” will be interpreted at the gathering. It’s scholar-in-residence season. Now, full disclosure, I am a bona-fide tier-three scholar-in-residence option. This very Shabbos I am in a community sharing Torah, meeting a new kehillah, and quietly apologizing to my wife between lectures because I forgot to pack the baby toys when we left before Shabbos. If you’re looking for a hashkafically ambiguous speaker at an affordable price that you don’t have to feel guilty about not even attempting to address in awkward third-person sentence structures (“Does the Rav want me to make the Rav a coffee?”), please consider arranging my visit to your community. But before you invite me or anyone else for Shabbos, please review this Top 5 list so you’ll know the issues involved.

1. The Poster / Bio Blurb

If a shul has a scholar-in-residence but no fancy poster advertising the lectures, do they even make a sound? Once a community visitor has been secured, the most important work has just begun — designing the poster. Every poster needs three elements: (1) a picture, (2) a bio, (3) a speaking title.

Poster Picture

The picture is always tricky. It should come with a warning, “Objects on poster may be older than they appear.” Every wizened speaker has the natural desire to use the youngest picture of himself that still has some tenuous resemblance to the current state of his face. But, you have to draw a line somewhere. Here’s an easy tip: If you have eineklach, it’s time to stop using your original wedding photo for shul appearances. I know the struggle — my hair started going gray when I was younger and I still cling to my more youthful photos. But you need to resist the urge. Poster pictures are not replacements for Rogaine or Grecian Hair Dye — or people will start coming up to you over Shabbos and asking, “When is your son speaking?”

Bio Blurb

There’s a pretty consistent rule governing the length of bio blurbs that describe the speaker. The length of the bio is inversely proportional to the speaker’s chashivus. If the speaker lists every award and accomplishment since being runner-up in the brachos bee in seventh grade, it’s a sign that you don’t have a tier-five speaker on your hands. They may be entertaining and great, but if they’re still mentioning their role as color war captain it’s likely that’s the most high-stakes battle they’ve been involved in. I always end my bio the same way: “Dovid has been rejected from several prestigious scholarships and awards.” Don’t mean to brag, but I’ve had some pretty important people tell me, “No thank you — don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”