We’re all used to hearing words can heal or hurt, build, or destroy. I was watching that play out in real time
Shani Leiman with Zivia Reischer
Toby and Avi were dating, and things were going well. Well, kind of slowly.
Toby was 25 and had been burned once already — an engagement had been called off the day before the l’chayim. So she was taking it slow, but that was understandable.
Avi didn’t seem to mind. He was 27 and had enough experience to know that relationships that instantly ignite were just as likely to suddenly implode. He was happy to give Toby the time and space she needed.
I didn’t think it was a problem either. People like to set rules in shidduchim — six dates or eight dates or whatever random number feels right to them. But rules cannot dictate the needs of a developing relationship. If there was an equation for How Long to Date Before Getting Engaged, it would probably go something like this:
This one’s in print. Some of our best stories live in the magazine — subscribe to get Mishpacha every week.
