Most of us view difficulty as something to endure and move past. Miriam Millhauser Castle, founder of the Inner Torah process, teaches that pain, disappointment, and unfulfilled dreams are all ways that Hashem communicates with us.
After reading Walking Mom Home I felt a sense of devastation. Irrevocable loss. And the acute pain of missed opportunity. In this stirring account Miriam Millhauser Castle records how she shared the last year of her mother’s life meriting a profound level of intimacy and giving transforming a time that could have been fraught with emotional entanglements confusion and even hysteria into an opportunity for blessing meaning and direction as the two of them stood at the door of transition into the Next World.
When my own mother a”h died thirteen years ago I was neither at her side in her last moments nor in an emotional place where I could give to her unconditionally. There were still resentments there were still unresolved barriers. Would I ever be able to feel whole or would there always be that looming pain that comes with the realization of no second chances?
“Actually there’s an enormous opportunity in the missed opportunities” says Miriam soothingly. “All of us have things in life we wished we’d done differently. They are part of the inevitable losses that are part of living in this world.”
This step grieving for a loss of what could have been – “if only… (fill in the blank)” – is one of the basic skills she teaches in the emotional repair work which she calls the “Inner Torah” process. Inner Torah is the name of a system Mrs. Millhauser Castle created to help women come into loving and forgiving relationships with themselves with others and with Hashem.
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