Among the several cultural shocks that struck me during a recent visit to theUSAwas the fact that major medical centers around the country have now resorted to commercial advertising.Houston’sAndersonMedicalCenter one of the world’s great facilities is pushing its wares as if they were toothpaste. So is Cleveland Clinic the world-famous heart center. So isEmoryUniversityHospital the South’s premier research facility. Competition for the medical dollar is stiff and apparently there is no choice but to advertise. There is also stiff competition for lawyers dentists accountants and so all these professionals now advertise.
The fact is that in synagogue life there is also competition for members. It is also only a matter of time before synagogues and rabbis begin to advertise. As a public service and guideline — and in honor of Purim — we offer here a sample ad:
SWIFT DAVENING Come to Congregation Anshei Atzeilim. Our Shabbos davening is swift and easy allowing you to get home quickly to enjoy your well deserved cholent and long Shabbos nap. You work hard all week. Why should endless synagogue prayers and long sermons deprive you of much needed sleep? We start out at a convenient nine-thirty hour and you are out by eleven. We have padded comfortable seats suitable for an occasional snooze year-round climate control and no-hassle sermons. And our minhag is NOT to wait for the rabbi who wants to take his time with his personal shemoneh esrei. He can take as long as likes but he cannot expect hundreds of people to wait patiently for him. So we start the repeat of the shemoneh esrei as soon as just one person has completed it.
SWIFT NONJUDGMENTAL SERMONS Our rabbi is friendly and nonjudgmental. He never suggests how you should live your life. You are a mature person and no one needs to tell you anything. And no sermon runs more than a quick 12 minutes. Guaranteed.
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