A Time to Be Silent

When it comes to my kids’ fighting with their friends I’m one of those moms who tend to race in rather than leave things alone. Maybe it’s the natural protective instinct rising to the fore the raging lioness roaring to protect her precious offspring. Whatever the reason my first reaction is usually the desire to give it to the child who dared to hurt my little one.

First reactions are often wrong and so I do stop to think twice (fortunately for the other child) but until recently I had always believed my interventionist policy was beneficial for my children. In fact I thought that this was part of my role as a mother — that my kids needed this from me. Until my kids had a fall out with the children of Zahava one of my closest friends and neighbors.

I called my friend to discuss the “dispute” and she surprised me by telling me I should stay out of such childish nonsense. (Well she might not have put it quite like that but that’s what she meant.)

“Look” she said firmly “if we stick our nose in every little disagreement our kids have how are they going to learn to cope? They have to learn to take responsibility for themselves and find their own solutions. Do you want us to be taking sides and perhaps getting into a disagreement because of our children? Besides how are you ever going to know who is telling the truth? Once you get involved in all the parties’ claims you’ll get bogged down in a slew of accusations and denials.”