All or Nothing

It  was on one of our trips out of town, that we were hosted by a wonderful family for a Shabbos seudah. The home radiated a ruach of chesed of the highest order and a great respect for Torah. The conversation ranged over the entire gamut of what is typically featured at your classic Shabbos table, including divrei Torah, lively zemiros, and opinions on current events.

There was one young man present who chose to remain mostly quiet during the meal, until the conversation turned to chinuch-related topics. I do not recall how we got there, but I commented on how I felt about the prevalent tendency to classify teenagers in boxes depending on whether or not they outwardly project the image of a ben Torah. I said, “It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”

Suddenly, the handsome bochur came to life. Animated and excited, he joined the conversation that clearly struck a deep chord. We spoke about the new yeshivos that have begun to emerge in America and Israel that provide comfortable environments for bnei Torah who aspire to grow but want a different flavor than the classical model. This bochur was himself attending one such yeshivah, and maturing al pi darko, happy to feel understood.

This is not some earth-shattering chiddush, as anyone raising children is surely aware. Mechanchim have indeed recognized the need for a framework for students who don’t fit the standard mold, and have risen to the occasion.