She answers his endlessly ringing phone, keeps the children quiet as he confers with experts, and reheats his dinner — it’s gotten cold while he’s on the phone. You might know her, but you may not know what it’s like to be the life partner of a dayan. Here’s an insider’s view.
I never thought my husband would be a public figure” Tirtzah the wife of a prominent dayan confides. “For many years he sat in a quiet corner of his kollel without making any waves. The idea that he would one day speak before crowds and help an entire community with their halachic queries never occurred to me — until it became a reality.”
Both family members and kollel yungeleit kept coming to Tirtzah’s husband with halachah sh’eilos. Eventually he came to the conclusion that if Hashem had given him the ability to answer all those questions it was his responsibility to share his knowledge with the klal. After receiving a shtar hora’ah (ordination) and studying under a prominent dayan he was offered a position as a dayan in his kehillah.
And Tirtzah became the dayan’s wife. A role with many responsibilities and ramifications.
“When I renovated my home I worried about what people would say. When I buy new clothing I worry about what it says about me” says Tirtzah. “I feel as if the kehillah has raised my family onto a pedestal and many people measure themselves by our standards.”
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