Big in Everything He Did

 In tribute to Ben Chafetz a”h

My father lost his own father when he was just nine months old; he spent his whole childhood switching from school to school as he struggled with ADHD and anxiety. My dad wrote about his mental health journey in an article that he published. He did not grow up in a stable, frum household, yet he succeeded in starting and building a beautiful family with my mother; our life was filled with love, simchah, and Yiddishkeit. He did not get to where he did by giving up and accepting defeat; he worked hard and always persevered. Every day was another opportunity for him to work on his emunah and middos and do as many mitzvos as possible.

My father did more in one day than an average person could do in a week. I used to think it must be because he had more than 24 hours in his day; otherwise, how could he complete so much in so little time? I soon realized it was because he never wasted his time on mundane things and he prioritized what matters: Hashem, Torah, and his family. His work was just a means to earn money to support his family; anything extra went straight to tzedakah.

My father knew that nothing in this life was his, and that he was just a messenger from Hashem, placed here in this world to help and touch as many people as he could. And he did just that. Everywhere he went, he created a family. The number of people who became our extended cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents is astronomical. Everywhere he went, he became “Uncle Ben.”

My father didn’t grow up with a big family, so he made one. Because that’s what he did; when life was tough, he made the best of everything. When facing a difficult issue, whether it affected him or someone else, he would never complain about it; he would just step in and try to fix it. He always said that anyone can feel bad for a person. You need to be the one to do something — because if you don’t, who will?