KIDS Issue 1057 · April 9, 2025

Blurred Boundaries  

Our son’s rebbi was working to shape him — but in whose image?

Blurred Boundaries  

 

He seemed like the dream rebbi. But then we realized: The help we’d welcomed was replacing the parenting we hadn’t surrendered

Chapter 1

HEinspired our son and helped him grow — but were important boundaries disappearing?

Last year, at the beginning of June, my older son, Yossi, came home with a giant chart. He unfolded it in my kitchen, laid it on the floor, and showed it to me.

“Look, Ma,” he said. “Rabbi Ginsberg made this chart for me to help me be normal.”

I’d been busy emptying one of the pantry shelves into a box. We’d rented a bungalow for the first time this summer, so I was partially distracted. But that caught my attention. Yossi was in seventh grade, and I thought the days of charts were long behind him. Also, I had never heard of Rabbi Ginsberg. Rabbi Lowei was Yossi’s rebbi. But it was the word “normal” that set off a warning bell in my brain.

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