Calming the Sea

I was very happy to read the article focused on helping our medically compromised young adults who are embarking on their personal dating journey (“Splitting a Stormy Sea,” Issue 1045). Dating is challenging enough without adding more issues into the mix, and I empathize with children and parents who are going through this particular roller coaster ride.

As a shadchan who has had the privilege of working with many people, I myself have become frustrated after seeing young men and women rejected time after time when they disclose a medical situation after a few dates. Sadly, medical situations are part of life and do not make exceptions for those who are of marriageable age.

I have had the pleasure of speaking with members of the Kesher Networks team and Rabbi Chaim Landau from Bonei Olam about the need for medical shidduchim to be orchestrated by knowledgeable and experienced shadchanim. It can frequently be a challenge to find appropriate matches for these candidates due to the reluctance of many in our community to disclose their medical situations. If they were aware of this confidential and professional service, that reluctance would likely fade away. But the need is greater than one would imagine, and articles and ads alone will not generate a big enough pool of dating candidates for each and every one of Kesher Networks’ registrants.

All too often, I experience the following scenario: I receive a call from an unidentified number. An anonymous parent is on the phone sounding agitated and flustered. Her son or daughter has been in shidduchim for some time and continually gets rejected after disclosing a medical issue after a certain number of dates. Such parents have no address to turn to and do not know what to do next. Shadchanim like myself find ourselves in this situation all the time, and our hands are often tied, due to lack of knowledge of other individuals who would fit a particular issue.