There’s the little guy on his bike experimenting with holding his hands in the air rather than placing them on the handlebars where they belong. He’s so proud of himself that he shouts to Mom to come see his accomplishment. “Look Ma! No hands!” And while his antics are slightly dangerous they’re also an accomplishment. He is balancing everything without the benefit of hands — just like his mother had to do during his period of infancy and just like she continues to do with every baby she’s blessed with.
Mixed Feelings
Precisely because a woman appreciates the gift of motherhood she is apt to feel guilty when she struggles during the early months of her children’s lives. Gratitude for the opportunity to care for her babies does not translate into boundless energy four extra hands and an influx of hired help. Gratitude is one thing and getting through each day is another. The former is a warm loving connection to Hashem while the latter is just plain hard.
It’s hard to cook shop clean or tend to toddlers when your hands are full of a baby. It’s hard to eat your own breakfast lunch or dinner. It’s hard to give other family members the time and attention they need to help community members to daven to take a shower. Everything is much harder. And we haven’t even mentioned the other challenges that come with baby care such as never sleeping for more than a couple of hours at a time and being chronically exhausted.
And yet many women feel inadequate or just plain bad if they dare to acknowledge that they’re finding life with their baby hard. They feel alone as if they are the only ones who are struggling. They think there must be something wrong with them since “everyone else” manages to cope. It’s so unfortunate that on top of all the real difficulties that accompany the mothering of an infant women add to their own suffering by berating themselves in this way.
Create a free account to keep reading.
