Changing Tracks

What happened? I used to whizz along, stopping at the odd station to gather up fresh ideas; energized by the textures and colors and barely visible signs of potential growth all around me. When did the points change to send me monotonously chugging towards a dead end? Who pushed the lever?

I used to journey through life, living every moment. I dreamed of marriage and found my bashert. Longed to have children and was blessed with child after child. I took on projects and did my bit, gave where I could, turned out meal after meal, and just managed to win the race against the ever-filling washing basket.

This chugging self feels breathless at the thought of it. “Relax,” it says, “Slow down. Do something for yourself for once. Enjoy life.”

“But where are you taking me? What has happened to all the excitement, the freshness, the growth?”