Compel or Cajole? The Debate Continues

 Mishpacha was the one to do it..

In his recent article “Hanging By A Fringe” Shimmy Blum uncovered a wound in our educational system that no one has wanted to talk about — or more correctly that everyone has been afraid to acknowledge. It’s a good thing then that he brought this painful topic to the attention of the public so that each one of us can introspect and see what part we might have played as parents teachers or other authority figures in creating this tragic indifference towards Torah and mitzvos among our charges despite the chareidi “cover” they maintain as youths and yes even afterwards as adults. This important article included eye-opening statements from leading educators and rabbanim and it really seemed as though there was nothing to add to what was said there.

But as I sat and learned Parshas Vayeitzei last week I found a pearl of educational wisdom that I would like to share with you as my own modest contribution to the ongoing debate on this subject.

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In the psukim of the parshah according to their interpretation by the commentators we can find a powerful formula for raising our youth. In fact the whole truth about chinuch is embedded in these psukim and they can serve as a basic model for parent-child relationships as well as the relationships between husband and wife teachers and pupils and in fact all interpersonal dealings. They encapsulate the true essence of avodas Hashem in its healthiest form. If we would adopt this approach in all aspects of our lives at all times it would not only be the key to our happiness but also an all-purpose solution for most of the chinuch problems that plague us. The only proviso of course is that we put it into practice constantly.