In the frum world, fathers usually spend more time with their sons, whether they’re in shul davening or learning together at home. But developing a healthy father-daughter bond is critical — it can shape who a girl becomes, what line of work she goes into, even whom she marries.
As the oldest I always knew I occupied a unique place in my large family. But once my two younger brothers started learning regularly with my father I felt left out. It didn’t seem fair to me that they were getting more of his attention.
“I want to learn with Abba too” I complained one day when I was just nine years old.
Despite his busy schedule as a shul rav my father rose to the challenge: “What do you want to learn?”
We decided on bi’ur tefillah. Every day after supper I’d descend the linoleum-covered stairs to my father’s basement office and perch myself on a metal folding chair at his side earnestly peering into the siddur he had opened for me.
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