Dare to Dream

Prepared for print by Faigy Peritzman

Last night I had a horrific dream in which someone close to me died a horrible death. I woke up terrified and cannot calm down. My husband suggested convening a beis din and doing hatavas chalom. What is this process and is this necessary in my case?

Hatavas chalom is a procedure recommended by Chazal for one who dreamed a “bad dream,” or any type of dream that is upsetting or unsettling. The concept behind it is based on the Talmudic principal that “dreams follow the mouth,” which means that the outcome of a dream will depend on the direction in which it is interpreted. The hatavas chalom procedure essentially interprets the dream — as horrific and unsettling as it may feel — in a positive and blessed manner. The text of hatavas chalom (with instructions) is published in many of the siddurim available today.

Can my father, brother, or son be part of a beis din to do hatavas chalom?

Yes, they can. As matter of fact, it is preferable to use them, since hatavas chalom is not performed in front of a beis din that makes halachic decisions, but rather one made up of a group of three people who love you (relatives, close friends) who will be happy to interpret your dream in a positive and blessed manner.

The actual dream does not have to be spelled out to the three people, but the petitioner should keep the dream “in mind” while performing the hatavas chalom. (While it’s recommended to do hatavas chalom in front of three men, a woman who is uncomfortable may do so in front of three female friends or relatives.) One who is unable to find three people should perform hatavas chalom in front of a rav with whom he has a personal relationship. Hatavas chalom must be done in person, so designating a proxy (shaliach) to do so on your behalf is invalid.

Why do we say the tefillah regarding bad dreams during Bircas Kohanim? What’s the connection? If I dreamed a bad or unsettling dream, is it enough to wait until the next Yom Tov to say this tefillah, or must I do more?

While the custom to recite the “Ribbono shel Olam” concerning dreams during Bircas Kohanim is explicit in the Talmud and codified in the Shulchan Aruch, the exact reason behind it isn’t specified.