"A lot of us find ourselves in the position of being the “Shabbos goy” when it comes to having Internet"
I was intrigued by the premise of the recent installment of Ring Me. On the surface it looks like always getting a “yes” after dates one, two, and three is great, but this story showed how getting emotionally invested time and again with the wrong person is actually a liability.
Mrs. Leiman’s advice on not being too open too fast was right on target. And honestly it should be heeded not only by girls in shidduchim. There’s a paradox I’ve noticed and wondered about. On one hand, we applaud people who are open and real, and we welcome frank discussion and genuine sharing. On the other hand, how often have you been at a simchah or schmoozing in the park when someone starts discussing personal issues in a frank manner, and you find yourself squirming with discomfort, thinking I shouldn’t know this about you.
What’s the difference? I believe it’s all about context.
If we’re close friends, then by all means, I want to hear about what’s really going on in your life (although even that has its limits: Some things should remain between you and your spouse, with the possible exceptions of your rav and/or therapist). But if I met you 15 minutes ago, then it makes me uncomfortable to hear very personal details of your life.
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