"All of us have the fortitude to turn these outrageous comments into something positive in our life"
I always look forward to reading Bassi’s insightful column but the one she wrote this week really resonated with me. Oh, my, the inappropriate “zingers” people say; I can truly testify that those really happen!
In a nutshell, I was sitting shivah at the ripe old age of 38 for my first husband, Dovid. (At the time, I had four children ranging in age from six to two.) The room was packed when one of Dovid’s friends, obviously bereft, asked me, “Are you sure you got Dovid a good doctor?” Everyone around me was shocked at his question and I truly feel Hashem put the words in my mouth when I answered, “The very best.”
That comment was the impetus that literally changed my life. That very evening, I started writing a list of what to say and not to say when a person is menachem avel. It took a few years, but that list snowballed into a manuscript guiding people on how to be helpful when a family is going through a serious illness or the loss of a loved one. The manuscript eventually turned into two popular books (one also published in Spanish), to publishing many articles, such as the one I wrote for Mishpacha magazine titled “You Are So Lucky,” which led to my giving inspirational, uplifting speeches to many different types of Jewish women’s groups, to having one of my speeches put on Torah Anytime, to being interviewed on different programs, etc…
I am not advocating making insensitive comments, chas v’shalom. But, people should just know that all of us have the fortitude to turn these outrageous comments into something positive in our life.
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