“I’m hoping women who feel the way I do about list-making won’t make the mistake of listening to the organizational gurus over their inner voice”
I was disappointed to see the poll on minhagim. While minhagim are not mitzvos, they do carry a lot of weight as mesorah. A minhag that’s been passed down from generations is not something to be sneezed at or played with. The poll left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
As far as I’ve always learned, a married woman follows the minhagim of her husband. Whether that’s in nusach tefillah, gebrochts/non-gebrochts, or anything else in between. Yes, she’s used to the minhagim she kept to from home, she may even find her husband’s minhagim strange, but out of respect for her husband she’s supposed to keep to his.
Minhagim are not a choice, but rather an expression of mesorah, carried from father to son throughout the centuries. How can someone just choose what they feel like? If a person is keeping Yiddishkeit just for the good feeling — keeping the minhagim that are fun or what they’re used to — that’s not real Yiddishkeit, which is about preserving mesorah.
So while minhagim are not mitzvos, they require a lot of respect. If a woman is unsure whose minhagim to keep, she should ask a sh’eilah. It’s not a decision to be made alone.
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