R ecently I went out with a guy seven times and everything was amazing — on paper. He had good middos we came from similar backgrounds and hashkafos he was pleasant-looking and conversation flowed nicely.
But I had no feelings for him.
He was nice and when we were together I had a nice time but I didn’t look forward to seeing him. I kind of hoped he’d say no so I wouldn’t have to make the decision but eventually I did say no. Yet I can’t stop thinking about whether I did the right thing. Did I make a mistake? Am I waiting for something that may never happen? Am I being superficial or worse have I fallen prey to Western notions of romance that have no business in our shidduch world? Help!
Finished but Not Done
Dear Finished
Do you know that of all the questions I get this is the hardest one to answer? Because the answer is quite simply I don’t know.
We’re bombarded with so many messages from the outer world and from within our own world that it’s hard to hear them all clearly much less sift through them. And many of the messages directly contradict each other.
