First-Timer Fundamentals

There will be thousands of first-time Seder leaders this year. We asked experienced teachers and rabbanim who’ve been inspiring others for years, to share their own insights

I just found out I’m making my own Seder in my little basement apartment. Until now my experience has been that only older, wiser, and more experienced people – the real family patriarchs – lead the Seder. What’s really important and what’s really not important? Where should I invest my time and where does it make sense to take shortcuts?

I feel that the most important message of the Seder, and indeed one of the most important mitzvos of the night, is to walk away being a bigger maamin. And I think the way to do that, besides through reciting the actual Haggadah, is for every father — and every person for that matter — to relate his personal experiences of where he’s seen the Yad Hashem in his lifetime, how the Ribbono shel Olam has guided him, directed his life or even come to his rescue.  That, I believe, is the best way to make emunah real, which is the mitzvas halailah.

— RABBI YISSOCHER FRAND, renowned speaker and author

The words of Shmuel Hanavi come to mind when he tells Shaul Hamelech, “Even if you may think of yourself as being small and not relevant, know that you are a leader of Klal Yisrael.” These are defining moments of our history and, although traditionally the Seder has been led by the “patriarch,” this year all of us are being catapulted into patriarchal status. We will step up to the plate and hit it out of the park, im yirtzeh Hashem !

— RABBI ELIEZER FEUER, Rav of Young Israel of Bayswater

What resource (Haggadah, class, sefer, etc.) do you consider indispensable?   

I’m not kidding when I answer that the actual Haggadah itself is indispensable. This is the year to declare freedom from quoting others and feeling like you need some fancy footwork to lead a Seder. Just read the Haggadah out loud (in English, if you don’t understand it), and whatever comes to mind — questions, observations, applications to your situation — those are the things to say. The goal is to appreciate what Hashem did. It is all there in the Haggadah, and there is no “right way” to comment on it. Just say what comes to you in the moment.