In the spirit of Purim:
It’s not just the process of getting appropriate shidduchim suggested that parents find stressful: Even after the coveted “yes” is given, the challenges pile up.
Information gathering has never been harder. The names on the formal resumé are a carefully vetted, clued-in clique of blood brothers and sisters ready to breathlessly assure you that the family in question is “amazing,” the father is “a serious kovei’a itim who manages to make time for all the kids,” the home is “classy but still laid back,” and the children are “outstanding but still normal.” The members of these resumé gangs carefully gauge your every pause and shift in tone and then customize their answers to your liking, like the caricature artist in Times Square who draws you as he watches your face.
So how does an inquiring parent get the truth?
Here’s my proposal. Skip the initiated, the neighbor, eim bayit, and best friend, and ask the one who knows the family and its secrets best of all.
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