I also hope you can lean into the moment and experience whatever it is you are experiencing without too much pressure.
But the tears didn’t come. In the moment, my son was so excited to be a big boy and to put on his longed-for yarmulke. I fed off of him with my high-pitched-voice excitement, though it’s possible that I was just faking it in his honor.
We’ve all heard and read about how not to dictate feelings for certain moments, and we do this in action all the time — up to and including when we determinedly hold back from telling a child not to cry over something we deem unimportant.
Yet today I suddenly realized that for so many Erev Yom Tovs, and specifically Erev Pesachs, I’ve been dictating feelings in this very column. I’ve told you not to kill yourselves in the kitchen, not to feel pressured due to having guests, and barring all, not to stress. I certainly hope my words have had the desired effect, but I know what happens to me when someone tells me to “relax!” when I’m anything but relaxed, and without context, “Don’t stress” is actually a form of dictating a feeling.
As much as I hope this Yom Tov comes around the bend with as little stress as possible, I also hope you can lean into the moment and experience whatever it is you are experiencing without too much pressure.
Create a free account to keep reading.
