I guess I’m on a dessert dry spell because I keep “not having time” until it’s Erev Shabbos and then I just need a hack. This one is a keeper.
We’re offering super low sign-up rates for this coming Monday because the truck that will be in your area anyway has some open slots, and omigosh, you look just like my cousin, so beautiful. The truck is really coming on Saturday, but we wouldn’t want to ruin your Sabbath so we’ll have them come on Monday just for you. And did you know there are ticks in the area now? That’s really scary stuff for kids. Our sprays get rid of them, so you can let your kids play outside peacefully. Wow, I can’t stop looking at your baby. So beautiful, so just sign here and you can give me your credit card — but don’t worry, we don’t take the security number until after the job is done…
Then she jumped to hold the door open for my husband who walked in just then with groceries, how gracious. I told her I’d talk to my husband and she could come back later. Not surprisingly, she came back, and this time my kids were around.
“Listen,” I told her, “I would be happy to accept your sign-up offer but I don’t think I need 18 months of treatment, so thanks but no thanks.”
“Aww, look at these kids,” she said. “How could you risk any of them getting a tick bite? Their hospital visit alone will cost far more than our spraying service!” (As far as I know, there are no ticks in my area.)
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