What Rivka Imeinu tells her son is a lesson we can all learn
Rivkah Imeinu knew how Yaakov could tame Eisav’s desire to kill him. What she tells her son is a lesson we can all learn
As parents or teachers, most of us have grappled with the frustrating question of how to talk to a rebellious child. There is indeed a secret to it, which Shlomo Hamelech relayed to us in a coded message, and which Rivkah Imeinu knew long before the wisest of men.
We’re all familiar with the famous pasuk in Mishlei (27:19), “As in water, a face reflects a face, so is the heart of a man to a man.” Now, you might roll your eyes and wonder why we’re talking about it again, but in fact these words hold the secret of success to all our interpersonal relationships.
Many of us find it impossible to communicate with a young person with whom we’re in conflict, and there’s a torrent of good advice out there about how to talk to him or her — no doubt many of these approaches helpful. But what’s often missing is not the style of our speech or the content of our message, but our attitude toward the child or adolescent we’re trying to talk to. Basically, we’re frustrated, offended, angry, and baffled. We’ve done our best for the child, so if he isn’t following the beautiful way of life we’ve bequeathed to him, there’s something wrong with him. It’s his fault. We may not even be aware of these thoughts, but if we dig down a bit, we’ll probably find them.
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