Our temporary home may only last the week of Succos, but some single girls live in temporary homes for years. Not yet married, but too old to live comfortably with parents, they live on their own, all the while hoping that they’ll soon be moving into a home they can share with their husband and the Shechinah.
When Batya Travis moved out of her parents’ home in Hampton Virginia after high school nobody batted an eyelash. After all it was a given that the graduates would leave to pursue education and marriage opportunities in an environment more conducive to their spiritual growth. So when Batya’s daughter who was in her upper twenties expressed an interest in moving out of the Travis home in Far Rockaway New York Batya was puzzled.
“It was kind of odd for me to experience my kids wanting to move out when I thought I was offering them so much” she says. “But then I realized that in order for her to be totally independent and to grow emotionally she had to be on her own.”
Batya’s daughter is one of many older singles who have taken the plunge and moved out a trend that is becoming more common even among women whose families live in metropolitan areas with ample education job and shidduch options. There are many factors that can trigger an “I need to move out” itch — age personality family dynamics or a need for independence and space.
The Single Sister
Some women say they began contemplating moving out when they realized how difficult it was to be at home. The atmosphere was tense and unhappy because everyone was walking around on eggshells afraid to make the “older single sister” feel any more awkward. Younger siblings in shidduchim would even hide their dating lives and the little kids would get shushed when they asked “Malky’s so old — why isn’t she married yet?”
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