In the Mourning Light  

I let the process happen. 

There are no rules for grief other than that you need to let it happen, so I told myself I’d do whatever I needed to get through. If I wanted to cry, I cried. If I wanted to laugh, I laughed. If I wanted to look at photos, I looked at photos. If I wanted to forget for a bit, I forgot. You know what you need — but you have to pay attention to that voice.

Esther Kaplan, whose infant son passed away three years ago

I talk to her and I talk about her.

After my mother passed away, I used to sit on my bed and tell her about my day, vent about my siblings, or ask her for advice. Sometimes it worked — I’d feel comforted. And sometimes I would walk away thinking, Uch, why can’t she answer me?

Now I talk to my son about her. When I first introduced him to his grandparents, I made sure to tell him about his other bubby — the one in Shamayim.