“I can’t stress enough how hard it is to be single when you’re older. And by older I don’t mean 22”
I read with interest the letter to Rabbi Greenwald about whether older single children should be expected to move out of their rooms to accommodate a married couple. In a similar, yet very different vein, I waited a few years for children. And yes, the marrieds with little ones always received the “better accommodations.”
It hurt, watching younger siblings with multiple kids of their own get preferential treatment, but at the same time, I knew that Yom Tov was not the time to be sensitive about this. Bottom line, it’s a time to be practical and give everyone the accommodations that make the most sense for their families. And yes, it was unbelievably enjoyable to spend time with everyone and share the simchas Yom Tov.
Name Withheld
I think that anyone who hasn’t experienced what it’s like being an older single really doesn’t understand the struggle. The mother asking the question understands the struggle of being newly married with little kids, the need for space and how hard it can be not to have it. What she doesn’t recognize is the pain of being an older single living at home, without a husband, without children, without knowing when she will actually be able to have children.
It can be very painful to watch other siblings who have what you want. And while one single may not mind giving up their room for Yom Tov (perhaps they don’t need as much personal space, or they can’t imagine Yom Tov without their married siblings joining…), when your child makes it very clear that she needs her space you MUST respect that. There can be so many reasons they feel this way, that you don’t necessarily understand.
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