“Rabbi Kerzner offered a far more compelling approach. Instead of focusing on restriction, we should shift what we celebrate”
Last week’s “Living Higher” article was a beautiful tribute to my father, Samuel Parker a”h, who persevered despite his hearing loss, and to Yeshivas Nefesh Dovid here in Toronto. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t give due credit to Rabbi Morris Kosman a”h of Frederick, Maryland. There is no doubt that we would not be where we are today — perpetuating my father’s legacy and living an observant lifestyle — were it not for this gentle giant. Rabbi Kosman was a tremendous influence on our family, both before and after my father’s passing, and his presence and guidance left an indelible mark on our lives. My sister, Esther Resnick, and I have no words to adequately express our hakaras hatov. Our gratitude to Rabbi Kosman, his entire family, and the enduring connection we continue to share truly knows no bounds.
Joely Parker Bernstein
Toronto, Ontario
Rabbi Aryeh Kerzner’s article on shame may be the most insightful and compelling presentation of this crisis that I have ever read. It articulated an issue I have long grappled with: If I am financially comfortable, what exactly is wrong with spending money? I give tzedakah, I support mosdos, I contribute meaningfully to the community. Why shouldn’t I have a wedding with multiple well-known singers or elaborate floral arrangements?
Rav Kerzner pinpointed the issue with remarkable clarity. The question is not whether money is being spent, but why. If the spending is meant to genuinely enhance one’s own simchah and improve the experience, then there is nothing wrong with it. But if the motive is to make a statement — to impress, to signal status, to be noticed by others — then it becomes deeply detrimental.
I love this guideline! And im yirtzeh Hashem, at my next chasunah — coming up in just two months — I plan to put it into practice: one singer, and spending only on elements that truly make the wedding a more enjoyable and meaningful experience for everyone present.
Create a free account to keep reading.
