In these days preceding the Day of Judgment, Rav Chaim Yisroel Pesach Feinhandler reflects on his own days of judgment and of the Books of Life and Death which he has seen open every day for the past two years. “Thousands of people are walking around healthy, yet He chose me to cope with the nisayon of this disease.”
When his cancer was diagnosed two years ago was he able to tap into and take strength from all the advice and support he’s dispensed over the years to so many others?
It isn’t easy to stand before this prominent rabbinic figure and ask him to relive the roller-coaster days of his disease. I am almost tempted to ask him a halachic question or some advice as people have been doing all morning. But with the knowing smile of a great man he takes advantage of the opportunity to add messages of encouragement and hope to others undergoing complicated challenges in their personal lives. He is the one who prods me on saying “Perhaps someone will find chizuk in my words.” If his words will help it’s worth the painful reminiscence.
Rabbi Chaim Yisroel Pesach Feinhandler was ushered into a world of pain and suffering two years ago as his family sat before the doctor who prefaced his words with a brief apology then let the ax fall.
“When a doctor utters such a devastating announcement what can one say? Nothing” says Rav Feinhandler. “In an instant you join the society of those suffering from the disease which people are afraid to even mention by name. We sat there dumbstruck and petrified. I couldn’t even cry. It took me ten minutes to come back to myself. Finally I was able to say `Now I have a different mission in life.’ And I knew that as in every new situation I would invest all my power in making the best of it.
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