In family life there is plenty of laughter. It’s often very funny just thinking about how Hashem expected a man and woman to live together in harmony! When we’re finished chuckling about that one we can concentrate on the adorable antics of the toddlers in the family. Teenagers too can keep us in stitches (or straitjackets). All in all family life can be a lot of fun.
Funny Joke … or Painful Reality?
We need to be careful however about how we joke around. It’s essential to remember that something can be considered funny only if everyone truly enjoys the humor. For example if a wife starts to tear up when her husband makes a “joke” about her housekeeping skills it won’t help him to say “I was just joking for goodness sake!” This is particularly true when the so-called funny remark is made in front of other people. Blaming the wife for being “oversensitive” will do nothing to save the day.
When a joke is just a little too close to the painful truth for comfort it should not be expressed at all. Instead the person should make a serious statement about their true concern. In our example if the husband is dissatisfied with his wife’s domestic talents he should speak to her seriously and privately about his feelings rather than make poorly disguised digs.
Sarcasm Isn’t Education
Similarly parents should never attempt to deliver serious education via the medium of sarcasm. Let’s say that Avi’s table manners leave much to be desired. His father’s humorous remark about the problem in front of Shabbos guests will not only prove ineffective as a teaching strategy but also carries the very real risk of damage to the father-son relationship as well as to the child’s mental health.
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