LONG READS Issue 1101 · February 25, 2026

Last Name Basis

How many disastrous dates would it take to prove that Green and Bean aren't a match? A could-technically-be-real comedy collaboration by five writers

Last Name Basis
How many disastrous dates would it take to prove that Green and Bean aren’t a match?
A could-technically-be-real comedy collaboration by five writers

Hinda Katz & Avraham Mouse

Leeba Sweet & Yanky Sauer

Rochel Pickel & Moshe Jarr

Shoshana Wein & Dov Glass

“Just imagine your names up on the wall,” the man said cheerfully.

“I can,” Gershy muttered, and he thanked the man and promised to think about it before making a quick departure. He needed a plan. A decision. Some guidance. He needed his rebbi. He headed to yeshivah, still at a loss.

“It’s still shayach, but I’m not sure,” he admitted to Rabbi Fisch. “It’s just… it’s a little much, I think?”

Rabbi Fisch scoffed.

“Do you like the girl?”

Gershy nodded emphatically.

“Do you have the same hashkafos? Can you see yourself spending your life with her? Raising children together?”

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