A husband and wife reflect upon their journey
My wife and I were raised very differently when it came to money. Riva’s parents struggled financially, but she never knew that. They’re from Hungarian stock, and they were determined to give their kids everything. When Riva turned 16 and asked for a car, for instance, she got one. If she needed money, she just went and took it from her mother’s wallet.
My parents, on the other hand, were born to Polish and Russian immigrants, respectively, and their spending habits were vastly different. If I wanted money from them, I had to do chores. I would never have dreamed of asking them for a car, or for anything beyond the basics.
Still, I always dreamed of being able to help people with money. On Erev Shavuos, when I was 18, my rosh yeshivah was discussing how to prepare for kabbalas haTorah, and he asked each boy in my shiur to choose one mitzvah that he would resolve to perform to perfection. I chose tzedakah.
I wish my parents had made me a smaller wedding and used the money instead to help Michoel and me start our marriage on solid financial footing. As it was, we were both working at very low-paying jobs when we were first married, while living in a one-bedroom apartment, but our meager earnings could not cover the basic costs of living — rent, groceries, health insurance, utilities, etc. — so the first few years of our marriage were overshadowed by financial stress.
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