I didn’t know it at the time, but I was going through the first of several manic episodes I would experience.
T he day after a high-school play in which I played a leading role a friend gave me a note congratulating me on my performance. “Zahava last night you were transformed into a different person” she wrote.
It was true. Onstage I had been bold charismatic and animated while in real life I was just a nice regular quiet girl from out of town. Who am I I wondered. Am I the star actress or just plain old me? It was a question I’d grapple with more and more as life went on.
After seminary I became a teacher and the mother of one of my students handpicked me as a shidduch for her son. My husband and I moved to Eretz Yisrael and I gave birth to our first child a boy ten months after our wedding. I was living a dream life.
Most women feel tired and a little down after giving birth. Not me. In the days after the birth I was feeling on top of the world. I didn’t need to sleep or eat; I just wanted to reach out to the world. I didn’t know it at the time but I was going through the first of several manic episodes I would experience.
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