One would think that Shabbos would be a peaceful day of rest. And while it has its many lovely moments the reality is that Shabbos also produces abundant family tensions. The trick is to manage these tensions in such a way that the overall feel of the day is still positive warm and loving.
Before Shabbos Begins
The challenges of Shabbos start long before the sun sets. Sometimes the challenge begins with shopping for Shabbos foods and ingredients. In some homes a weekly battle ensues over the costs involved and the lack of available funds. In other homes the struggle is more a logistical one — who will run to the five different shops and when? At last when everything is in the kitchen and ready to go the work begins in earnest: putting it all together into three festive meals. And when that is finally accomplished it’s time to ready the house for Shabbos a particularly tricky undertaking when little children are underfoot.
While some people flow easily through the preparatory stages of Shabbos many others do not — and for good reason. These weekly stresses are real stresses. Entire issues of secular magazines are devoted to the stresses and difficulties of making ONE large festive meal once or maybe twice a year! Topics will typically include financial cost time management menu preparation food preparation presentation and other aspects of planning. We step up to the plate every few days and while this is our pleasure it is also a challenge. Jewish homemakers need top-notch organizational skills in order to carry it off smoothly and efficiently.
Since we’re not all equally gifted in the organizational department we can certainly take advantage of the books articles and human teachers around us to help us find a way to prepare for Shabbos that works well for our own unique styles. We can learn tips and strategies galore until we find the system and techniques that make this stage of Shabbos pleasant and peaceful for us. It is so important that children see Shabbos preparations as pleasurable satisfying and even fun. If they see us moan and groan under the “burden” of Shabbos it can Heaven forbid leave them with aversive feelings toward this holy day.
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